The Art of a Thank You

I don't know what's up with my generation, but it really saddens me that thank you notes almost cease to exist. I was brought up that when someone did something for me, I was to show my appreciation by writing a note. I would not have been allowed to get away with not writing one [even if I said thank you verbally]. I am so thankful my mom made me do this, because I know what it's like to receive them and it always warms my heart that someone took time to say thanks to me. I so hope that doesn't come off sounding proud, because that is soooo not my intention.

When someone does something for you, please remember they were not obligated too. People don't have to give you birthday, shower, wedding or "just because" gifts. If they do, try to remember you have no idea the sacrifice or time it took to make that gift happen. Even if you think they have all of the time or money in the world, they still didn't have to do it for YOU. A little thank you note can go a long way. On the flip side, if you are the one giving the gift, don't do it with the thought that you will be thanked or should be thanked, which is sometimes hard to do; this is a wrong motive. There is a lesson to be learned by both sides it seems. Let's not lose the art of manners that our parents were taught and should be passed down to future generations!

My Newborn "Must" Haves

Everyone has an opinion on how to raise a baby. Everyone has an opinion on what is a necessity when having a baby. Stephen and I have really tried to simplify our lives recently. We really want to implement this thought with having a baby as well. We knew we didn't want tons of stuff and didn't need all of the extras [Diaper Genies, etc.], so we really tried to take the minimalistic route. Here are a few things that we have found helpful for us:

1) Foldable/portable diaper changer [this fits in our diaper bag]: this is really helpful when on the go and you need to change the baby. That way you don't have to lay them directly on a dirty floor or surface where who knows what has taken place. :o)

2) Hand sanitizer: we carry a bottle in her diaper bag and use when out and about and after doing diaper changes when a faucet is not nearby. It's also been good to use before we take her in and out of the car seat if we've been to stores. In addition, we keep a bottle near the "changing station" in her room. That way if we are working with a really messy diaper, we use it before picking her up since we can't leave the room to wash our hands first [I am sure someone out there thinks we are OCD, but you wash YOUR hands after going to the bathroom I hope, so it makes sense to do it after changing a baby!].

3) Blankets for swaddling: swaddling is so important to us and we have found that it makes a difference in how well she sleeps. Go to: www.thehappiestbaby.com and you'll find lots of tips [called the 5 S's] for keeping a happy baby. Swaddling is one of them.

4) Small trash can with lid: we found a small, round trash can with a lid at Target that is fabulous. I highly recommend this to avoid the baby's room from smelling like poop as much as possible!

5) Burp clothes: enough said. We go through quite a few per day!

6) Sling: this kinda goes hand in hand with the swaddling concept. We have found this comforts our Madeline - to be carried around when doing errands, going to church or doing stuff around the house. We use it often. It calms her down so much, it's almost as if she's in the womb again. Makes sense. A friend told me about www.wearyourbaby.com. I haven't tried that technique yet since I have the sling, but it's worth a try.

7) Paper towels: we try to keep the select a size paper towels near her "changing station" because even though she is not a boy, she likes to pretend she is. She often pees as soon as the diaper comes off and it's handy to have the towels for a quick clean up, etc.

8) Power of a Praying Parent [book]: you can never pray enough for your child. Whether they aren't born yet, an infant, toddler or an adult, this book is well worth it and a great aid for your prayer life concerning your kiddo.

Hope these tips help someone!

Miss Madeline's Arrival

09.10.09 at 9:01pm our baby Madeline came into this world! It was quite a dramatic labor, so she must take after her mama. :o) My water broke the night before at around 9:30 pm, all over our brand new couch mind you. Thank God when your water breaks it really is water...so it was pretty easy to clean up. My contractions didn't start until after midnight and they were sporadic at that. We knew that this baby girl had to be born within 24 hours since my water broke before the contractions started and we were praying that they would come more regularly, but by the morning of the 10th they had pretty much stopped. I had maybe a couple per hour. The dreaded thought of induction by Pitosin was becoming more of a reality.

Stephen and I have worked hard over the last 9 months studying, practicing, exercising and eating fairly well so we could do a natural, unmedicated birth using the Bradley Method [Husband Coached Childbirth, by Dr. Bradley]. This method focuses on the husband being the coach of the labor and delivery as well as acting as the go between for the mom and hospital staff. In addition, it focuses on the exercise, nutrition and relaxation to cope with labor pains without medication. A strong reason to have a non-medicated birth is the recovery time for mom and baby is faster, the baby and mom are more alert after birth, tearing at the perineum is less likely, episiotomy is less likely and latching on/sucking reflex is not USUALLY as challenging [and boy did she have that sucking reflex!]. The list goes on as to the benefits, and it goes more in depth in the book. It is quite fascinating how the Lord created our bodies and why pain is necessary to release hormones so the birth progresses as it should. By following the Bradley Method, contraction pain is usually decreased, but don't mistake that for no pain. There is pain with childbirth and it would be foolish to think otherwise. :o) I highly recommend anyone who is pregnant to read this book. It is amazing and informative and as many people like to say, it's good to keep all options open and to educate yourself; then make a decision.

We so firmly believe in this method and were anxiously awaiting to utilize all we had learned during the labor and birth. Since my labor was not progressing and I had to have this baby within 24 hours, the Doula we had hired said we really needed to get to the hospital by around 1pm on the 10th for safe measure. Our original plan was to stay at home as long as possible with our Doula during labor, then go to the hospital for the birth. However that is not how it went!

Upon arrival at the hospital we heard the dreaded words "Pitosin." I had to be given the drug so my labor would progress. According to Bradley, if Pitosin is given, the likelihood of C-Section is much higher and all sorts of other effects could take place. We also knew that Pitosin made contraction pain a lot worse, which I was dreading b/c of this natural birth I was planning to do. We didn't have much choice, so the drip IV began. My contractions started, however Madeline started to show serious signs of distress over the hours because of the way she was laying on my cervix. I had to change positions often to try to relieve her pressure, all to no avail. The staff was really concerned about her and the next thing we knew we were hearing the dreaded words "internal fetal monitoring" and "C-Section"; all outcomes exactly as Bradley predicts in his book. Our hearts sank. We prayed, our Doula prayed with us and we played the waiting game. The labor was pretty dang intense. It hurt pretty bad at this point and I can certainly see why people get an epidural, but with the encouragement of my husband, Doula and my birth plan [which states to NOT offer me pain meds], I was able to tough it out. Don't ask me how...it was a God thing, not a Lisa thing! I also had to remember my contractions were much worse because of the Pitosin.

Just as the staff was telling us we really needed to consider these intervention options, it was time for a staff change. In walked a nurse that looked at us and basically told us "I birthed my 2 children at home naturally and I do natural births on the side. I want you to have the type of birth you've wanted and I don't see why we can't do it this way. I don't think we have to do what they have been talking about. Let's try some things." What a Godsend! As much pain as I was in, it was just a miracle that someone was behind our dream [even though the thought of C-Section sounded like a relief! LOL].

The nurse did a manual procedure that made me dilate 2 cm in a matter of seconds, and boy was that the most painful thing I have experienced. However, it immediately relieved stress on our baby girl and she did beautifully afterwards. So much so the talks of intervention were no longer uttered. This nurse was amazing. My pain of course intensified even more but I made it! I was exhausted by like 7pm, thinking I couldn't make it any longer. The nurse did one more procedure like before and by 8:40pm I was ready to push. I pushed for 20 minutes and then miss Maddie was here!

She was so alert as was I. It was as if someone sucked out the tired in me and replaced it with life and energy! We were able to enjoy one another and marvel at this new chapter we had just entered. It was amazing and Bradley was right...natural births allow the mom and baby to enjoy the moment instead of being so tired and miserable. In fact, almost immediately after her birth I felt so good, having had very minimal pain, that it was almost as if I had not given birth to a baby! I am not kidding...it was just amazing.

So there is our story. It wasn't smooth and it didn't go quite as planned. However at the end of the day God gave me the grace to get through this birth and He did confirm that all of our hard work practicing this method paid off. Even with all of the intense pain, I still highly recommend this birthing method. How you feel afterwards is just remarkable. I still can't believe I made it with Pitosin. I feel very blessed and undeserving that the Lord intervened as He did and that He gave me such a strong support system. During the labor I kept thinking, "This is for Madeline, this is for Madeline." That helped me get through the intensity of it and I am so thankful the Lord was my helper as well. From start to finish my labor was 23 1/2 hours. Whew! I know there are more dramatic birth stories out there then mine, and so I am not going to pretend I had the worst situation. I'll save the drama this time. :o)

Now we are a family of 3 and are adjusting to our new life. It's been a ride, but one that with no doubt, the Lord has us on! This is HIS miracle baby that He entrusted us with and I hope we make Him proud one day.

Third Trimester

One more day to go until the anticipated due date! However, we are still hoping Madeline arrives 9.9.09! These pictures were taken last week by my friend Jenni. It's one last glimpse of Madeline in the womb before she presents herself to the world! :o)

Madeline's Little Haven

Here are a few pictures of our baby Madeline's nursery. I don't really like themes, so I tried to make it flow with the rest of the house, which has a Spanish/Bohemian/Earthy type feel. Her room looks much better in person I think, but this gives an idea of what it looks like. Now all we need is the baby to go in it!

Why oh Why?

As I explained in my previous post, the house we are subleasing has some issues. I still fail to understand why someone who is privileged to own a home, especially as cute one as this, with sooo much potential, would let it go. I need to try not to complain though because our needs are being cared for. It just seems like so much has happened to us over the last year and a half that I've gotten into the habit of looking more at the negative than the positive. I AM aware of this and AM working on it. Some days I have a great attitude and others are just harder. These house repairs just baffle me is all.

Here are some pictures of the repairs that need to be done. These are only a few that I took, but they are of the siding and the main bathroom. Thankfully the owner will let us put in a new bathroom cabinet/sink [if we install it ourselves]. The current one is falling apart and the faucet itself loses chunks of metal every time I touch or clean it.

However, after looking into it, it may be more difficult to replace this than expected due to the placement of the sink and toilet, plus finding the time to do it with a baby coming. It may be something we find cannot be done.

The Journey Continues

It's been a journey, that is all I can say. Words cannot describe the overwhelming pressure Stephen and I have been under over the last month. Since my last post about our housing situation, we had about a week or so to find a place to live. The Lord really tested us up until the last minute it seemed, but we did find a house to sublease for a year, on Craigslist. The house is just a VERY short bike ride from Stephen's school, which is awesome. However, moving in and adjusting to this place was...let's just say...far from awesome.

The day we moved it decided to rain. We have been in a drought for months and not only did we get rain, but we got a down poor! Eventually it stopped and we were able to move. It was pretty stressful, not to mention that our landlord decided to bless us with his presence as he stayed at our condo as we were moving out...the entire day. Yes you read right...the entire day. I really felt like our privacy was being invaded, but chose not to say anything.

Upon moving in we quickly realized this place was far from move-in ready. There were dead roaches throughout, roach poopies in the cabinets, dirty walls, things falling apart and dog hair everywhere. I am severely allergic to roaches and somewhat allergic to dogs. My asthma started to act up and we knew we had to get this roach problem under control. Furthermore, we knew we couldn't unpack most of our items, esp the kitchen, because in order to get an effective pest treatment, they needed to spray inside the cabinets. So we spent a good portion of our first week here unpacked. My asthma was so bad I had to go the specialist and get put on an asthma medication that costs us anywhere from $125-$140 a month, out of pocket. That's a hard hit for us, but being pregnant and asthmatic, what do you do? It has been a miracle drug and works so thank God for that.

I spent the first few days at the "new" house crying and crying. Between the asthma problems, not being able to lay down comfortably due to difficulty breathing, not being able to unpack and living in a house that needs SO MUCH repair [for instance, it is so unlevel, many pieces of our furniture have cardboard or wood under them to make them stand up straight], it was incredibly overwhelming. All I could do was cry. I wasn't even sure I could continue to live here, this house was in such disrepair. We found yet another condo for sale, down the street from where we used to live, prayed and sought advice and decided to make an offer on it. We knew we had a flexible lease at the house we just signed a sublease on, so that wasn't an issue. Well, our offer on #7 was not accepted because the seller had told someone verbally he would take their offer. Our offer was better and he would have preferred to take ours, but he felt obligated to keep his word [which I commend him for doing]. We felt God was again shutting the door on buying and we needed to stay put in this house, which was not yet a home.

A few days after moving in we went for our morning 3 mile walk in the park, which is literally next door. As we were walking the nice track, the Lord began to change my heart and show me that everything might just turn out okay in this house. So Stephen and I have been working hard on it ever since. It took pest control a week to come out, so we lost a week of unpacking and making it home [and when you are close to having a baby, all time is precious!], but since then we have made a lot of progress. Over the last 3 weeks, we have had to wash walls, baseboards, do touch up paint, scrub floors, vacuum the air conditioner unit, clean up roach poopies in cabinets, unpack, get Madeline's room ready, have a garage sale and so forth, but it's getting done. We have begun to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It's been a journey, that's for sure. This house has so much potential, but the owner has let it go and is not interested in fixing most things about it. Maybe I'll post some pics soon to show what I mean. It's really a shame. So many people do not realize that it's a privilege to own a house, not a right. There are lots of us who would love to own, however for one reason or another cannot. It's just like with kiddos. Some people procreate like there is no tomorrow, have no "right" doing so...and they take their kids for granted; while others want kids so badly and they cannot seem to have biological children.

For whatever reason, the Lord has had us on a crazy whirlwind of a journey since 2008 and the trials seems to be never-ending. It really has been one thing after another. I have to remind myself "This is only a season." However, I do have to say that this house, quirks and all, plus the hard work we've invested in it, has turned out to be in the best location possible and has turned out to be okay. Not A okay, not ideal, but okay and more pleasant and enjoyable than originally thought! And that is fine because it must be what God wants for us during this season.